The reality shows would have us believe that all there is to pageantry is a bunch of evil self absorbed moms pushing their reluctant tearful daughters to get crowns for their display cases and money for their bank accounts.  Even the most well intentioned show that is not trying to sensationalize still presents images that the general public doesn't understand and makes assumptions on, and seems to miss the point.  Many good things about pageantry are never highlighted on tv, but a good wholesome hobby centered on family activity, friendships & competitive spirit just doesn't make for good television.

Although ANY children's hobby has its crazies and its negative lessons (I could write a whole article about crazy parents and negatives my children learned from football and cheerleading, but that is a different story!), I think the hardest thing for the general public to get past with pageants is that in glitz pageants you will see fake hair, makeup, custom clothing and spray tans.  Children involved in glitz pageants see this as Halloween or playing dress-up...they know it is a costume, make believe, their chance to play with mom's makeup & dress up like Cinderella going to the ball.  The makeup is for appearing on STAGE...if you have ever seen an actor in a play close up, you know that they would never wear makeup like that to the mall - this is the same thing.  A child will wear makeup at a ballet recital or in a theatre production because simply, stage lights will wash out a person and they 'disappear' on stage.  Stage makeup is not meant to be shot close up with a tv camera, but it sure does make for great tv, doesn't it?  Sure does stir the pot!   

What the reality shows don't want to show you is, there are also natural pageants that don't allow makeup at all.  Glitz or natural is personal preference - some people do both!  Crown Jewels has both available.  If you don't want to go the glitz route, you don't have to.

Pageantry is a family activity.  Sometimes it is just mom and the kids, sometimes it is dad, too.  Pageantry offers a weekend away, for family to bond and do things together.  You RARELY see a child that doesn't want to be there...yes occasionally there is, but I would venture to guess it's just as often as you see a boy who doesn't want to play sports pushed into it by his father.   That is the exception rather than the norm (well, unless you're on reality tv...)  You far more often hear of the child who has her suitcases packed on Tuesday eagerly waiting to leave Friday after school.

Many general public comments online seem to believe that pageantry is 'living vicariously through your child,' or something only done by mothers who have lost their beauty to age.  In reality, often mom may have competed as a child - just as a man who played football as a child may look forward to his son playing football - or a mom who loves to dance may be excited about putting her child in ballet.  How is pageantry any different?  It's not.  It's just an activity that is not as 'mainstream' as football.  C'mon reality shows, you should do the 'crazy football parents' show - I guarantee there will be wilder stories than you've seen in the pageant world.  It's just not as shocking to see a kid in pads & a helmet as in stage makeup.

Kids and moms make new friends at pageants...the pageant is a chance for everyone to get together.  Most pageants have some type of party on Saturday evening.  When a child is on stage their friends applaud and cheer for them.  Most moms and contestants make an effort to clap for everyone.  It is a very positive friendly atmosphere.  The child learns that you don't always win, and that when you don't win that doesn't mean that you didn't do a good job - it just means it wasn't your day.  Maybe one of your child's friends won instead, and the child learns that she can be happy for her friend.  When your child does win, she learns that you also have to be a good winner.

What I am surprised to see online in non-pageant discussion forums is how the uninitiated seem to think the audience is full of leering pedophiles.  Folks, the audience is full of WOMEN for the most part...other moms, grandmas, aunts, sisters - with the occasional dad, brother or grandpa.  You just don't see people there who are not friends or family of a contestant.  Maybe this is the 'door badge required' policy of most pageants, maybe it is because pageants just aren't generally advertised to the general public as an event to come watch - I don't know, but it is just not what you're imagining.  Besides, it seems to me that a pedophile would be interested in a child that looks child-like, not a child made up for stage modeling.

Another statement you'll see by John Q. Public is that "Well, I don't want my child to think that beauty is everything."  Beauty is not everything, but good grooming in life is very important...and it is very important to present yourself confidently in job seeking and social situations.  Besides, it's not just about beauty...pageant winners have generally set goals for themselves and worked very hard at perfecting routines, working with coaches, coming up with outfits and photo ideas - it's a lot more than just a pretty face.  Some pageants also have community service aspects.    Also, many pageants have the policy of 'everyone gets a crown' so each child gets rewarded for their efforts in participating.

I just read one article online stating how damaging pageants are to a child's self esteem, that 'how can it be healthy for a child to think that this other child who beat them is more beautiful?"  Ok, well on that theory, we should not send our children to school anymore...as if another child scores higher on a test, then our child may think he is not as smart.  My child should not try out for cheerleading, because if she does not 'make cheerleader' then my child will not think she is as talented as the others trying out.  My child should never sing at church, as someone else in the choir may have a better voice and this could be 'damaging.'  If pageants aren't your thing, that's fine - but why attack those of us who enjoy pageantry?  Why does the activity we enjoy have to be 'damaging' to our children, while your children go to school and take tests, try out for cheerleader, sing at church, and do the million other things in life that are competitive in one way or another.  Competition is healthy.

What do pageants give a young person?  In addition to the crowns and prizes (which is usually everyone's first thought), a child also gains confidence in themselves, self esteem, poise, stage presence, interview skills, and with the great community service aspect in some pageants today - a love of helping others.  Pageants are a way to surround my teen with good role models - pageant kids are GOOD KIDS...they aren't out on Friday night drinking and partying...they are much more likely enroute to a pageant with their mom, where even at 17 hanging out with your mom is not uncool.  Older children help younger ones - it is a rare pageant that you don't see wonderful positive interaction between teens and younger kids.  Children learn to set goals and work towards them, and they get to see that hard work pays off.  Sometimes they also get to see life isn't fair, which is also a valuable lesson for the future. 

You think these kids are forced to be on stage?  Trust me, a  forced kid won't win.  Just like the shy artistic boy who isn't good at sports who is shoved onto the football field by his ex-quarterback dad, the child who doesn't want to be there is not going to convey stage presence and confidence.  A mom could make her child try out for cheerleading, but if the child's heart isn't in it, she is not likely to be chosen.  She is more likely to do a halfhearted performance and say "See mom?  I didn't get it". 

Even Jane Treays who filmed the original "Painted Babies"  - a documentary that 'horrified' viewers in 1995 and gave rise to thousands of letters of complaint about 'child abuse', was amazed when she returned to the lives of child beauty queens Asia Mansur and Brooke Breedwell.  Jane says in an article from the Sunday Times, "the two shocking little Dolly Partons I had filmed all those years ago had become poised, decent and disciplined young women.  Who knows?  Perhaps some of that is due to the beauty pageants.  They certainly think so."  People love to say how "damaging' our hobby is, but they never seem to have any evidence to back that up - while I can give you PLENTY of evidence of the positive side of pageantry, the two girls above being only two examples.

But, what about JonBenet, everyone screams in unison!  JonBenet Ramsey, the murdered 6 year old - they sure loved to show her pageant photos on tv, didn't they?  Yet, there has NEVER been one shred of evidence to link JonBenet's participation in pageantry to her unsolved murder.  JonBenet also participated in many other activities - dance, rock climbing,  violin, french lessons, singing, and more - but, as an article on the JonBenet memory page says "The Ramseys have often tried to release pictures of JonBenet when she looked like a typical 6-year-old, but the media doesn't print those pictures because they don't sell. "

Don't get me wrong.  I have attended a pageant that was being filmed for tv and I can't deny it was a thrill.  Shelby wasn't on the final cut at all, and Chelsea had her 2 seconds of fame walking through a doorway with the teen contestants - if you didn't know she was there and what she was wearing, you would have missed her.  I have had friends who were followed by a show, and I don't think bad of them for doing that - that was their choice.  I don't think pageants are 'bad' who choose to be filmed.  However, seeing the backlash from the general public (do an internet search - you'll see all you need to see), I have decided that it is not the best course for MY pageant to go that route.  I am also feeling that with the perception the general public is getting of pageants that we need to do something to show the positive side of pageants - the side that is  not shown on tv.

I received a phone call from a reality show about filming Crown Jewels, and I politely declined (four times, now).  I do not feel that pageantry is accurately represented in the reality shows - I feel sometimes that editing completely changes meaning - and the shows are then clipped and re-edited for you tube by every idiot who watches.  I feel the best intentioned show with the best intentioned director & the best intentioned contestants is still hard pressed to overcome the shock value of presenting close ups of 3 year olds in full makeup and fake hair.  I was saddened to find 'pageant hate groups' on the internet, suggesting that our beloved hobby is 'child abuse' and (I'm sure well intentioned but uninformed) people trying to start anti-pageant legislation over what they see is exploitation of children.  I don't feel that it is beneficial for Crown Jewels, for our contestants, or for pageantry for us to participate in reality shows.  We prefer to dedicate this page to show that "Pageantry is Positive."  We plan to continue to add photos that illustrate this.  If you have a photo that you would like to share on this topic, please send to cara@crownjewelspageants.com